Why Labour Lost and What We Need To Do

Blairites are really enjoying the opportunity to write about how awfully delusional Ed Miliband and his legion of milifans are for caring about inequality and stuff, while radicals in the Guardian are all too happy to suggest Ed just wasn’t alt enough. He was too bland. His hairstyle wasn’t socialist enough or something. The SNP and Greens offered a rosy utopia even though the IMF were like ‘bruh, not really’.

These opportunists need to chill. They’re about to make tarnishing Ed Mili’s legacy about a left/right dichotomy that, simply, wasn’t a big deciding factor this election.

I’m mostly gonna focus on the Blairites because they have the most power in this election. They’re talking about change by wheeling out The Dark Lord on every possible channel and getting David Mili to make the public realise who’s the truly stabby brother. And now Chuka is the Anointed One of Aspiration and Not Wanting To Tax Stuff. So yeah, gonna focus on those tits.

They’re talking about ‘aspiration’ or something. Because poor kids wanting to be paid for internships don’t have aspiration or something. Asking those folk in mansions to pay a bit more is apparently too ostentatious for darling Middle England. Wtf were we thinking in championing a very mild form of redistribution while 900,000 foodbank packages are handed out to a new generation of Oliver Twists? What if those Oliver Twists want a mansion now? Well there’s no incentive, they’d be better off where they are. Btw it’s their lack of ambition that’s making them hungry, not dire wages or benefit sanctions. Also you know, welfare just stops people trying hard. Trying hard to feed their family. Who would want to feed their family? BAD WELFARE CLAIMANTS. BAD.

This is the bullshitty way the Ed Miliband Post-Mortem has become. He cared too much. Him pointing out the very real fact of thousands going hungry and many more being made homeless by bedroom tax was just not aspirational enough. Or whatever the fuck.

Have no doubt, the Dark Lord and his following bats have been waiting to use this argument ever since Nicer Ed won, even at that point when he talked about energy price freezes -the fucking marxist- and Labour were riding high in the polls. This argument template of the Lord Sugar type has been chilling in the alleyway waiting to stab that awful social democrat in the face, no matter the way he would have lost.
Had Ed Miliband transformed into a slitheen and eaten children, it would have been because he was a slitheen too far to the left.

On the contrary, instead of being a simplistic left versus right race, the election was disunited and fragmented. Based on division and identity more than classic arguments of class.
This election, ever since UKIP’s rise and the indy ref, was always going to be spectacularly unique. There were so many incredibly unprecedented factors, many of which rooted in nationalism. It’s important to go through these as interconnected and related to ideology but not caused by it:

The SNP
Quite clearly, we got feckin’ battered in Scotland. This was an inevitable downfall that we did very little to stop, and Labour must now realise that it cannot be complacent anywhere. This was the SNP riding a wave of left wing populism. Are we going to ignore that?

SNP fear
Perhaps more damaging than the SNP itself was the Tories’ masterstroke of fueling fear. Where was this most effective? Our target seats in Middle England, and the ones we were defending in the suburbs.
According to incredibly revealing internal polling, EdM was winning the public over (with non doms most significantly -BLAIRITES) until the SNP/Lab fear factor began to damage key marginals. And yes, the media DID play a spectacular part in that. It’s not delusional to point out that the ‘WORST CRISIS SINCE ABDICATION’ and the general wankfest over the Tories everyday in the tabloid press wasn’t some sort of factor in this narrative.

UKIP and Working Class Communities
2nd in the north, splitting the vote in Ed Balls’ seat among others, which is why we lost seats we were defending. UKIP are the threat of 2020. As Cruddas has pointed out in his data analysis (EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS) we have lost the working class while actually retaining a middle class vote. This, as I will go on to explain, is largely packaging, not policy. They did not see Ed Miliband as PM.

Lib Dem Collapse
Now this IS Middle England, but it was an unpredictable SHAMBLES for the Lib Dems that no-one saw coming in Tory-LD seats. This was also partially the SNP factor, pushing LDs back to the safe Tories.

(More classically, perhaps) Economic competence
The banking crisis fucked us up and we never found a way to unfuck us up, basically.


What are these things NOT?

Aspiration. Middle England scared of a zero hours ban and the mansion tax (London is now a swathe of red, if you haven’t noticed). A focus on inequality.
SO STOP THE OPPORTUNISM. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.
There are too many factors that went into this, too much of it nationalism, for us to revert back to arguments of left and right.
We see you there Mandy, having already pre-packaged your Chuka arguments. We see you. You were gonna do this anyway, and y’all wrong af.

Now, what can we do? What must we do?
First of, by not descending into the bitchiness of either the Blairites or my first few paragraphs. Attacking Mandelson is fun, definitely, but that bitch never leaves. What’s the point? We must confront the evidence and look beyond our philosophical bullshit, whether we’re licking Giddens’ Third Way or sobbing over a poster of Tony Benn. There is sufficient evidence that the electorate do not give a shit. They want to see practical evidence that Labour represents them. EdM, for all my loyalty to his message, did not encapsulate it. The packaging was wrong. We have to start from scratch.

Patriotic left wing populism
We on the left get bitchy about this, don’t we? I was wasting away on Twitter this entire campaign arguing with Scottish nationalists and crying over a resurgent (thanks to the Tory campaign) English nationalism. We must instead address it. We must elect a leader who has the ability to reach beyond London and the core urban seats without abandoning them. This doesn’t mean a AB C1 C2 DE-based approach. This is not about appealing to middle class *~aspiration~* (since when was socialism and left wing populism NOT aspirational?). This is about identity.
Class, regional, national. Appeal to the flag and to the community.
How? Federalize Labour. Embrace Englishness instead of shunning it like us metropolitan folk do. We shoud not cede this ground to the right.

Grassroots
Stella Creasy now enjoys a 23,000 majority in Walthamstow. I am convinced it is because of her two now famous campaigns on loansharks and landlords. These palatable campaigns should be our New Politics. Show that you can change entire communities. Labour has to be a movement again. A localised one like Movement for Change. Set up shop. Campaign. Do not be complacent.

A Working Class Leader
Change the packaging. For the love of god. The policies are relevant and Ed’s legacy must live on in one form or another, but we need to repackage it and convince our former voters of the best person to see them implemented.

So Mandy, shut the hell up, buddy. Sorry, that was unproductive. But really, pls leave.

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